Tuesday, March 10, 2015 at 1:25PM
I am happy to say that I write this entry from a much better place that the previous one. It is true that time is the true healer, and patience is strong medicine! While I am not quite back to the practice or fitness level I was prior to pregnancy, I am okay with that. In fact, I am grateful!
As I have been preparing my classes (my mind, my body, my energy), I have realized that every single thing I've struggled with in this recovery will benefit my students, my teaching, and my own practice. It has led to copious amounts of research and education on the anatomy of the body, trying new methods, finding ways around traditional form and expectation, and working within limits that many of my students must work within. I would never have received these gifts of knowledge and understanding without the process of recovery I've had to go through!
And through this process, I have come to understand that like baby Bear navigates his new world of gravity, space, and motion, we must learn to crawl before we can walk. I can see now what makes the crawling part hard for all of us: our point of view that the crawling it is less valluable than the walking. Is it less valuable? Is it less important? Less exciting? Don't we *eventually* get to where we need to go (even if the final destination is different from where we were headed)? But we judge it--as weakness, as annoying, as unworthy.
This can be both a broad or specific metaphor: the PROCESS of learning is LIVING. That is, if we release our point of view, our injuries can teach us more about our bodies and what they need than being in top physical shape. Our emotional, mental, financial, physical struggles can offer us more opportunities to gather courage or information or resources than living a worry-free, injury-free, illness-free life ever could. (and how many of us are in that category anyway?)
So, I am moving forward with this in mind: let go of the judgements you have about the process you are in. Maybe it is a process of your body, situation, or relationship changing in some way...and maybe that process SUCKS! But, it is it's own living, breathing, dynamic, transient thing. And it is perfect in all of that, it is exactly what we need when we need it (like it or not). Watching the baby learn to roll over and seeing the sheer joy that comes over his face and body at this amazing accomplishment--it is the perfect example of how magical GROWTH can be. And each of these steps and processes just grows into the next...crawling leads to walking, leads to running, leads to skipping, jumping...eventually skydiving or levitating? There is always another level for us to reach for, unattainable were it not for the one before it. And in each area of our lives, we are crawling, walking, running to the next level all at the same time! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!? How can I possibly judge that?
You know that phrase, sort of out-dated now: "It's all good!" !?!? Well, I think that is actually a perfect way to keep the mind and body of our judgement and un-helpful points of view! Even though I'm labeling it good--it is a mellow good. It feels more positive than saying "it is what it is," which has a begrudging level of acceptance. I find that when frustrated due to circumstances out of my control, or when my body doesn't want to move in the way I want it to, or when I have chosen a behavior or habit that doesn't benefit me: it's all good. In the next moment, around the next bend, in the next lifetime...it's all good. My strength today--all good. My diet today--all good. My battle with pain--all good. Try adding a shrug, just for fun. (Extra credit--try it on your judgements about other people's processes! Her outfit--all good. My friend's boyfriend--all good. My dad's money problems--all good.) We actually can go ahead and let all of that energy go my friends! Because it is all just another layer in the onion of opportunity and life in which this soul sits.
Sounds too easy? (That's a point of view too, haha). Try it! I won't judge you! Or don't try it--it's all good! ;)