Monday, March 4, 2013 at 2:19PM
Just this morning I was asking myself if I should take a sabbatical. With so much unpacking, laundry, chasing around to do after a weeklong vacation I felt like there wasn’t enough time to do it all (before the kids get home from school!). I fantasized about having a whole open day to complete the never-ending task of organizing the storage room, I could paint the basement, walk the dog…
Then I practiced and meditated for a while.
I felt foolish for my thoughts this morning! Where are my priorities!? Living a more organized life versus…well, LIVING!? While the feeling of a completed project would be satisfying, would that really compare to how I feel when I study, practice, and teach yoga? Would a tidy closet give me energy to enjoy my world? Would it INSPIRE me? In a word, NO. (shoulder shrug)
Here’s the gift of yoga: a little reminder that it’s all about US. The errands, laundry, phone calls, bills, chores, lessons to kids, lessons to ourselves, guilt, questioning…it is always going to be there. And guess what? So are you! So am I. And so is the still, quiet, strong place within me. All I have to do is tune into it and VOILA things come into focus. So what are my options? Either to live in a hut on a beach (tempting), or to roll with the punches. Am I really able to ignore the quiet knowledge that I should teach and spread my love for yoga, that I have a greater purpose, for the gratification I get when I cook a meal for my family and all the beds are made? (sigh)
These thoughts made me feel better but I still needed a plan. I knew what I was looking for was a way to quell the anxiety about my mounting responsibilities without abandoning the work (and the students) that keep me centered. So here it is, in a nutshell. I’m taking my own advice! I would tell you to make some small shifts so that you can accomplish what you must do as wife/mother/daughter/friend/teacher, but increase your devotion to yourself, your power, your connection to God/universe. Just like you need to eat food to fuel your body, you need meditation to fuel your spirit. My intention—starting tonight—is to release my attachment to lazy tv time (and I admit that I love spacing out on the couch!), go to bed earlier, so that I can wake up earlier…thus “creating more time.” This time, while the rest of my house sleeps, will be for me. Not to scratch things off my list, but to recharge the ole batteries.I do not kid myself that this is an easy fix…although I am a fairly early riser, 6am still seems like the middle of the night. But doesn’t is SOUND easy?! Maybe if I just decide it’s no big deal, then it won’t be. Why would I deny myself the soul nourishing things that make me happy? And beyond happy, why would I deny myself the very thing that gives me the energy I need to do everything else? (smack on head)
You are on this journey with me yogis. I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Now, I really do need to get dinner started! Xoxoxo G